Thursday, August 03, 2006

 

Today's discussion is a lesson in Taiwanese culinary practices. As you might already know, Taiwan is world famous for its delicious foods. While this is a reputation well-earned, I will now make a confession that will probably get me tarred and feathered by my local friends: most of the "everyday" stuff (i.e., the concoctions which the locals eat every day) is yucky, yucky, yucky.


Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely photo that you have before you (above, Shilin Night Market at 9:00pm on Saturday, July 15, 2006) is an example of precisely what I mean. For those of you who can't read Chinese, please allow me to translate the sign on the street vender's stall: Stinky Tofu - NT$35 Per Serving; Pig's Blood Soup - NT$30. Why in the world anybody want to eat stinky tofu, not to mention pig's blood? But this is only the tip of the iceberg. As stated on the "National Geographic Channel," the Taiwanese have a reputation for being brave enough to eat anything. In Taiwan, it seems that nothing is taboo: rats, bull penises, duck bills, toad fat, centipedes, fish heads --if you cook it, they will come.


As a foreigner living here, I used to get people shoving plates full of suspicious looking fare at me all the time and then warned, "In Taiwan it's rude to ask what is it before trying it; now open wide," and then after biting down on something rubbery or gooey or greasy or slimy or squishy, being told something like, "Haochi ma? Stir-fry pig intestines." I thought I could escape the horrors by declaring myself a vegetarian and for the most part, I have. However, as the old saying goes if you want something done right, do it yourself.



What do I mean here? Well, your average street vendor or housewife has absolutely no idea how to cook vegetables. Just stick it in the pan with about a litre of oil and fry the crap out of it 'til it's nice and limp and tasteless. The same goes for the various kinds of soups (above right), which to me taste exactly like stagnant dishwater. But I don't want to come across as a crybaby. In my next post, I'll tell you about what Taiwan does right.

posted by Dr. Wei 11:23 PM

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

 

Ah yes! The famous Black Eyed Peas came to Taiwan on July 25th and all I got was this dumb photograph of their Hummer. It would have been nice to attend their concert but I just didn't have the dough. But let's not dwell on unpleasantries now, shall we?

What's so cool about this pic is the bouncer standing in the foreground. I took this shot while sitting in a Starbucks on Zhongxiao East Road, right next to the California Fitness Center. Anyhow, right above Starbucks are several huge disco/dance clubs. "Luxy" is the name of the club where this giant works. It's hard to tell by this photo, but the guy is HUGE. My buddy Ron Stewart (below) likes to speculate on how many people this guy has already killed, but I don't want to know.

But back to the subject at hand: one of the nice things about sipping coffee on Zhongxiao East Road right beneath Luxy is that you can watch the scantily-clad bar hostesses saunter by. And when I say "scantily-clad," I mean scantily-clad. Ron says these hostesses make about NT20,000 bucks a night (about US$600), catering mostly to overseas businessmen having fun on their companies' respective dimes. Conveniently, there is a Condom World store down the hall and a bunch of fancy Love Motels upstairs.

Needless to say, these hostesses are the main reason for the bouncers. There are about 12 humungous bouncers, each built like semi trucks, protecting a harem of about 30 Taiwanese hotties, each built like mini supermodels. Whatever the case, both Ron & I call our little Starbucks chat sessions "Appreciation of God's Art 101."

posted by Dr. Wei 8:16 AM